This Date Only

The unrelenting question I'm expressing within
I identify my person while releasing my sin
Rusted in remorse, tattered and bruised
Slowly I get back up, beautified and abused
Exposed I become in piercing the pain
I emerge from the prison preoccupied with you
I find pleasure and grace lifting up my head
I can surely see your face grazing into place
Go away...yet please stay... I'm battered and abused
I've closed my heart for a reason, thus I must pray
Why do you always turn away and leave me here without an image
And thus I must pray... again... I can't take much more
I want to run away... I want to fly
But I must wait on you...
So sick of sitting here... So sick of all the abuse
Guilt overwhelms my heart, laid down by your desire
I am broken inside, left by your pride
Where are you?
Heart like a plastered grid of paper
Covered, mattered, and used
Marred and disfigured by the blood and scars
Am I just a number or another face to you
Erase, smudge, and dodge the circle
Yet...still what am I to do?
Narrowing the time and pain
Each day becomes a memory of relentless gain
Someday the promise will come true
My heart will gravitate just right
And soon I will be next to you

Mixed media oil painting
All Writing and Art by ©Tonya Ashe